"Not Me!" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

A few weeks ago around 9 PM the house was quiet, the kids had been in bed over 45 minutes and everyone was sound a sleep. Or so I thought...

My 3 year old did not start hysterically screaming, because he is very controlled crier and he goes to bed the second his head hits the pillow. He is always calm and collected. He didn't come sheepishly down the stairs, because he knows he is not allowed downstairs after he has been put in bed. When I got him calm enough to understand he didn't tell me he had put a marshmallow in his nose. Not my son! My boys never put things in their ears, nose, or mouth they shouldn't, as you can tell from this "Not Me" Monday post. Our 5 year old didn't have to be put under 2 years ago to remove a popcorn kernel from his nose from our $1 movie date. What kind of a mother doesn't watch her child close enough to prevent that? Who cares that it is pitch black in the theater and you are holding a then 1 year old in your lap and actually trying to watch the movie.

Ok, back to this story: I didn't sit and try to figure out how he could have gotten a marshmallow instead of trying to remove it from his nose. I obviously needed to help him 1st and foremost. I was just intrigued you see, we don't normally have marshmallows in the house. The 6 year old had a homework assignment to make 3D shapes out of marshmallows and toothpicks and his creations were drying on the kitchen table. But I have stealth eyes and he never could have snuck by me to get one. Hmmm.....

Ok, I had to get back to the task at hand. I didn't have him lay on the stairs and turn every light on to see in his nose. There would never have been enough light and all I would have seen was black. I wouldn't have been too lazy to walk out to the shop to get a flashlight. I didn't need that, I had everything under control. My heart wouldn't race when I couldn't see anything but black and assume he sniffed it so far up it wasn't visible. I wasn't thinking in my head "ugh, now we have to wake everyone up and waste $50 to go to Urgent Care, if these kids would quit putting things in their body parts it would feel like a raise". I would be way more concerned about his welfare than money.

I wouldn't have thought back on all the things they have put in their ears and nose, like cotton balls, goldfish, a shell, several popcorn kernels, a rolled up sticker, now a marshmallow because they would never do that! They way know better. A genius idea of blowing the nose covering the other nostril wouldn't have come to mind because I wouldn't have past knowledge that it works well most of the time. I wouldn't have been mortified when on the second blow out popped a sold BLACK squished marshmallow. Upon closer examination I wouldn't have discovered it wasn't a marshmallow after all but a small black foam cylinder that was from a Halloween craft my mother in law gave the kids oh 7 months before. You see I threw them all away about 5 months ago and my house is always so impeccably clean they could not have been missed.

Although the house was clean at that moment, I still have no idea where he found it. I hadn't seen one of those pieces in a good 3 months. The good news is Brandt's homework assignment was not harmed in the process. It was still whole the next morning when he took it to school.