Friday Funnies

My friend Karlise emailed this to me:


Truths for mature humans....

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

9. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

10. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

11. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -Ever.

12. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? DangIt!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

13. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

17. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

18. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.